I am proud to be Chicana with a familia that
radiates past biological connections.
Many Chicana familias are like that.
Here’s what I mean. I grew up
with godparents, uncles and aunts, who never were biological family members. I
didn’t know that until I was older. They
came over often for dinners and parties.
The way they first knew my parents was simply due to happenstance. They
were Mexican immigrants and happened to live next door or worked with my parents and at
some point, they became more than friends.
As well, growing up, I learned that other “friends” were considered
“familia” because they were present often for gatherings, both personal
(weddings/funerals/first communions/baptisms) and not so personal (weekend
gatherings). I grew up hearing them
discuss politics, literature, Mexican and U.S. immigration issues with passion
and humor. And when there were difficult
situations (earthquakes, world crises, etc.), the phone would ring a dozen
times or the house would be filled with “familia” who wanted to be together to
help, to talk, to eat. No one made appointments
to come over. They just came over. And
my mother was ready to feed anyone who arrived because she loved doing that—not
because she had to do it.
As a result, my
mother was known for her cooking. I was
very fortunate to grow up with a mother, a woman, who loved to cook the best
Mexican dishes and not the usual kind you get in restaurants—but unusual and
delightful creations. She gave me the
passion to create in the kitchen. Little
did I know that much later in my life, the passion she passed on to me would
serve me well, as I continue to joyfully create dishes that are nourishing,
healing, and dare I say—powerful! And
like her, I so enjoy having the house filled with people, feeding them my
latest culinary creations. But
first—back to “la familia.”
My mother is on
home hospice now. It was exactly a year ago that we did the same for my father. He died last March. Their decline has brought “familia” back to
me. As I have begun to notify (like I did last year) friends and “familia”
in Los Angeles and Mexico about my mother, I am being reminded of the influence
my mother had on so many people. My
mother and father had many friends.
Many! And in these last weeks, the friends who I've contacted, have called me “hija” and have repeated the word “familia.” They have talked about how they cook my
mother’s recipes. This past Christmas,
for example, my own daughter made a huge batch of my mother’s Chiles Rellenos.
And back in Los Angeles, my cousin Angelina, told me how grateful she is to
have my mother’s enchilada recipe. “This recipe is like no other,” she said. More
importantly, my mother has been a life force for Angelina—assisting her,
encouraging her to go to school. She is
now a family therapist, and my mother is extremely proud of her. And there is Abelardo who continues to remind
me of my mother’s strength, inner power, and brilliance he has always
admired. The “inner power” Abelardo
talked about was also what he called a “sixth sense.” He says Chicanos—“tambien
tienen una pata” in other dimensions (plural!).
“You have that,” he reminded me. “Don’t
forget to be in those other dimensions.”
He’s right. As my parents have
moved/are moving fully into “other dimensions,” I know, because of them, my
world is large because they taught me that familia is not an insular
entity. And as they transition, their energies move within and outside of me, to others, to you as you are reading this.
I continually
write about decolonizing oneself from this society that places a premium on the
“individual”—every one for her or himself. That is not our way. I’ve been working hard and successfully while
connected to a number of Chicanas –all working to “decolonize” our diets (thank
you to comadres, Luz Calvo, Catriona Esquibel and others!). Decolonizing the body, the spirit, and the
mind is where the Chicana/Chicano community is headed.
I see it happening with us and it brings me hope.
In this Nuevo Año
de 2016, I salute our La Bloga familia and am deeply grateful to be “related”
to Michael Sedano, Olga Garcia, Xanath Caraza, Melinda Palacio, Lydia Gil, Rene
Colato, Ernest Hogan, Manuel Ramos, Rudy
Garcia, and Daniel Olivas. And I salute you, dear La Bloga readers!
¡Orale
gente! ¡Adelante en 2016!
Qué buena "hermana" eres, Amelia. - RudyG
ReplyDeleteAmor, Abrazotes, Amelia, Adelante, Apasionada, Amable, Andale,
ReplyDeleteGracias Hermana.
Familia is as familia does. and por cierto somos familia. As my grampa used to say, Pos, así es. So it goes. Looking forward to our La Bloga familia AWP get-together. The countdown begins.
ReplyDeleteFamilia is where the heart (and usually where the food) is. Un abrazo fuerte, hermana, as you navigate dimensions.
ReplyDeleteAbrazos a la familia. Hope to see you all in 2016.
ReplyDelete¡Saludos desde Veracrú!
ReplyDeleteI agree la familia is where the heart ( and of course good food) I enjoyed your story. continue being strong and always write good story.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year 2016 / Feliz año 2016
ReplyDelete