Doce días de mis Krismas - Day 3

the Spanglich version
Posted each day beginning Dec. 15th

(Esa's voice in red; Ese's voice in black)

On the 3rd día 'til mis Krismas
My true love gave to me,
3 grinchy friends ...

"Where we gonna get gifts this late? You shoulda told me earlier you drew names at work. "
"I forgot. I need something for 3 of 'em. "
"Three white elephants. Why do they call 'em that, anyway?"
"Can't 'member. Elephant? 'Cause you don't really need one?"
"We could use an elephant--to eat up Rinócero's plastic needles that're droppin' like moscas."
"I wish you wouldn't call ..."
"What'd these so-called friends give you last year?"
"Let's see: a cheap Aztec church key, a plastic mono, a used utility knife."
"No tamale openers, huh?"
"Not unless you count the knife."
"What'd you give them?"
"Nothing; I forgot. Actually, I was sick the year before so we gotta make up for three."
"Chingaus! And what's this mierda about WE? ... Could one of them use a big Krismas tree?"
"Not time for joking. What about that cosa your mom gave you you said sucked?"
"It was a miniature vacuum; it was supposed to suck."
"Oh. ... Let's see--three presents, three ... wise men. Got any gold, frankin--?"
"No time for jokes.
"Three, three ... three dozen tamales!"
"They're your friends, not mine."
"Well then, three subscriptions to ..."
"Chichi magazines--great, the perfect Krismas gift! So they think they're the muy macho types?"
"One's more macho than the others. She's Real Butch."
"Una lesbiana?"
"No, that's just her nickname: Real Butch."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I forgot."
"Well, anyway, I guess that would take care of your elephants, qué no?"
"Actually, no. I forgot the ..."

(Continued on Day 2.)

© Rudy Ch. Garcia