Thursday, March 04, 2010

Latinas Peeling it Off, Beowulf, Borges, & Writing our Own Books

Guest post by Mayra Lazara Dole

I’m sure it’s every literary person's fantasy to awaken next to a voluptuous Latina. For valor, you grab Beowulf, the Old English heroic epic poem you were reading before falling asleep, and quickly flip to the page you left off.
Your eyes veer over to the seductress you just met...

For some reason she's in your room and suddenly, you remember spooning her last night.

She slips on a spandex mini-dress decorated with mandarin orange ruffled sleeves. With a flick of a finger, she turns on the CD player and sensual music fills the room. Her hips jiggle, feet shuffle, shoulders shake and bootay bounces as she cakes on neon glitter eye shadow.

Your Ping Pong eyes bounce from her stiletto heels clickety clacking towards you, to her EXTRA LARGE…

gold hoop earrings and fruit-filled sombrero.

In a Spanish accent, and sultry, dripping-in-caramel-voice, she whispers into your hair, “I’m going to serve you breakfast in bed, Papi (or Mami). You'll be having melons. I’m saving the ripe banana for desert, before I set off to teach Borges at the university. Afterwards, I'm giving a lecture on deconstructionism and why 'the interpretive movement in literary theory rejects absolute interpretations and stresses ambiguities and contradictions in literature.' Later on tonight, I'm flying to Venezuela to save female authors from oblivion..."

You wag your head in disgust and wish she'd STOP the literary nonsense and either peel your banana or sing to you, I'm Chiquita Banana and I've come to say/You eat the banana in a special way...."

Now, let me show you why some Latinos and people of color would love the opportunity to write our own books:

What it looks like when authentic Latinos and people of color write our own stories: (check out the footwork/moves of the guy in the chartreuse shirt and white pants).
Oops, gotta go! It's time to shake my maracas and whip out an exquisite breakfast in bed for my special mujer!


Here is a brilliant, artistic manipulation of how advertisers make Americanos think we look like and behave in the kitchen. Do you blame me for loving it and wanting to RUN to buy Tostitos and salsa or perform a little cha-cha-cha of my own in the kitchen?).

1 comment:

Mayra Lazara Dole said...

Hi. This post was added with broken links by mistake and the correct one is at LA BLOGA. : )