by Ernest Hogan
Who would've thought that ICE had a secret word that they call their victims and potential victims? They’ve been keeping it to themselves. Giggling about in private like the cowards they are.
I only know about it because Gustavo Arellano spilled the beans in the L.A. Times. Thanks, Gustavo, keep up the good work.
This new word is tonk.
Yeah, it’s pretty lame, but we aren’t talking about witty, imaginative types here.
I wonder why they can’t seem to come up with a workable slur for us?
Greaser is misleading. It was what they called the sombrero-wearing villains in the first silent movies made in Hollywood. It was never clear what kind of grease they meant. And it’s become antiquated. Would young Latinxes know that they’re supposed to be offended?
Beaner is also awkward. Yup, I eat beans, and like them. You gotta problem with that? I’ll just fart in your face.
Then there’s spic. Growing up on SoCal. I never heard it until the original West Side Story was shown on national television. No knee-jerk reflexes for an East Coast chingadera.
And it sounds like part of a word. Maybe spicko or spickie or spicker would be more appropriate. Or maybe not.
So now we have tonk. It started as an onomatopoeia. What ICE does to people: TONK! Like in the old Sixties Batman.
Also like egghead, that came from the Nazis referring to those whose skulls they were cracking open on the sidewalks. Funny how these things keep going back to the Nazis . . .
The n-word doesn’t have to worry about the competition.
(Funny how the n-word has become more forbidden than the f-word . . .)
I think some preemptive strikes are in order. Pick up this grenade and throw it back at them. Remember, Chicano and pocho were originally slurs our South of the border hermanos used against . . . us. What goes around comes around. Besides, racists hate it when their magic words don’t do what they want them to.
We should turn it back into a verb. Four letters ending with a k. It rhymes with the f-word! A perfect stand-in.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Tonk you, ICE! started appearing in walls all over the land?
It could be said, shouted, chanted, when they come after someone.
Oh, for someone telling them to go tonk themselves on a video that goes viral!
It’s what all those tonksucking, mothertonkers deserve.
Ernest Hogan has been called the n-word so often that when he hears it, he assumes they're talking about him--and is usually right. He's working on his New, Improved Ancient Chicano Sci-Fi Wisdom for the Palabras del Pueblo Writing Workshop. Because pendejos are trying to exterminate us from the future . . .




























