Daniel Cano
"I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of society but the people themselves, and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them but to inform their discretion by education." T. Jefferson
A teacher
coming to class without a voice is like a gardener, electrician, or plumber
showing up to the job without any tools, or like the lead singer in a rock band,
the voice the instrument. Without it, the work just can’t get done.
We’d reached
the end of the semester, last class before final exams. My community college students
were anxious, as expected, and as their teacher, I wanted to ensure I provided everything
they needed to do well in the final three-hour test.
It was a
sophomore literature class, the bulk of them already accepted transfers to
various universities. They needed A’s and B’s, even the good old “Gentleman C”
wouldn’t do. I prepared my lecture notes and lesson plans, covering the
intricate subtleties or the novel we’d been reading, focusing on the main
points. I couldn’t wait to get to class the next morning.
That night,
a tingling sensation tickled my throat, then a scratching. (This was
pre-covid.) Uh-oh. By midnight, it was a full-on dry cough, and by the time I
woke the next morning, I was hoarse, one-hundred percent mute, nothing, zip, I mean, unless you count an unintelligible croaking sound. My first reaction--bewilderment.
The students were depending on me.
I thought
about calling in sick, but, with finals one class away, I couldn’t let my
students down. Too late, even, for a substitute. I had to show up, no matter what,
if for no other reason than to apologize. After today’s class, I wouldn’t see
them again until the final exam. I’d even told them to come to class prepared
to ask questions.
Other than no
voice, I felt fine, no cold symptoms. I wondered if it was somehow
psychosomatic. An overexcited brain can play tricks on us. I recalled once in
elementary school I got a one-line talking part in a play. It would be an
evening performance, open to the public. That afternoon, I lost my voice, no
sickness, just no voice. A friend had to substitute. He blew the line. As
parents and students watched, he kept laughing, finally spitting out the few
words. The next day, I was fine, talking again. How could that happen?
Was it
happening again? I wasn’t sure how to proceed. Even with what felt like the weight
of the world on my shoulders, I didn’t panic, telling myself it would all work out, my military training kicking in.
Maybe they were ready for the final even without the class. I’d done a lot of
interactive stuff during the semester. I supplemented lectures with mock
trials, debates, Socratic questioning, group discussions, and research
projects. Still, I knew that for the final
exam they’d want to hear my “take” on everything.
As I drove
to work, I tried talking in different tones, low, regular, high. No matter what
I did, I sounded like a frog, and in a higher register, out came something
like a screech. I’d have to improvise. I’d been a musician in a
younger life, forgotten the chords or notes on stage and had to “fake it,”
which usually meant improvising, and, in a sense, creating something new.
Growing up, I’d watch and listen to my fast-talking Chicano uncles bullshit
with the best of them. Maybe, this was one of those times.
Weird ideas
came into my head—pressure, stress. I remembered a reporter interviewing Lee
Trevino after he won the Masters, or one of those golf tournaments. He was
asked, “Lee did you feel the pressure?” The cool Chicano leaning on a golf club
answered something like, “Hell, you think that was pressure. Pressure is when you’re
on the golf course in El Paso, and you got a $1000 bet going on with a local
sharky, and you don’t have a dollar in your pocket. Brother, that’s pressure.”
I entered
the classroom. It was full, 30 students, not an empty desk. I couldn’t give
them my usual “good morning” or any chit-chat. I nodded. They knew right away
something was up.
Like the
game Charades, I pointed to my throat, then made a cut-off motion with my hand,
to indicate I had no voice. They began looking at each other. A few laughed. I
went to the board and explained my loss of voice. Groans and chuckles.
Instead of
writing Class Dismissed, as I’d thought of doing, I wrote, “You will have to conduct
today’s class! Prepare for the final exam anyway you want, share and discuss
your notes, analyze passages from the book, or ask each other questions. Use
the board.”
At first,
they sat staring at me. Then they turned and looked at each other. I couldn’t
even say, “Start.” I just extended my arms with my palms up. They understood. For
the next hour and ten minutes, I watched something magical happen. Like ants
carrying provisions up an anthill, they got moving. A few students took control.
Modeling
some of my earlier classes, they moved the desks around and formed small
circles. They took out their books and notes and began sharing information and
discussing confusing or ambiguous passages. Even the shy students got
involved. They moved from group to group
asking questions and offering their own answers.
Sometimes,
one student would stand and call out something across the room to the entire
class. Someone on the other side of the room would answer. Another would write
on the board, so that everyone could see the information and copy it down. Two students put
their heads together, figured out the answer then shared it with the rest of
the class. Not once did they ask me a question. The classroom was their workshop.
I walked around, pointing, gesturing, and offering help with the expressions on
my face. Mostly, I observed.
The class
time passed quickly. When they were finished, they packed up the books and
notes, apparently satisfied with their progress. Some shared telephone numbers
and emails. As they exited the room, they told me they hoped I felt better by the
next class. It had been an invigorating morning.
About a week later, my voice returned, I discussed the class with a colleague. I thought there was
a lesson for us to learn from it. He said he was going to try it. He did,
pretended to lose his voice, with the same results, an inspiring class session
conducted by the students themselves.
Now, I’m
not saying a teacher isn’t needed in class. Throughout the semester, I had
provided much of the context and content, enough for them to know how to apply
it themselves. To me, that is true learning, the application. I never lost my voice again, but I
did design my curricula and pedagogy a bit differently after that experience.
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