Presenting a life-affirming essay by educator, author, community leader, and La Bloga's good friend, Frank Dávila.
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Life Growth Spurts
Frank S. Dávila, PhD
Nov 2024
Moments of Pondering
Moments of Pondering
Have you pondered lately why you are in a certain state of mind or in a particular location or emotional phase? And can you describe the growth spurts or eventful episodes along the way that guided your personal trajectory leading to the personal stage in which you now reside?
We did not get to choose our parents or family when we were born, nor the village, town, or city. The human and societal conditions, location, and language we inherited became our natural surroundings. Our setting, filled with so many multi-sensory and emotional activities molded our personality and outlook in life. Looking back at different pieces of our life history can give us some poignant moments where we can say, “Ah, those special, intimate, and dramatic times were definitely growth spurts for me.”
For some, life growth spurts can be those unsettling and unpredictable moments as an orphan, abandoned child or a family spat, while for others, it is receiving a healthy dose of love and nurturing from friends and family members. Some of those varied experiences may have placed us in a bubble where we felt protected with minimal risks, while for others who chose to engage in reckless, adventurous, and painful activities led them to see and experience the naked world spinning around them.
At an early age, we did not always understand those pivotal growth periods that were revolving around us. We simply soaked it in and kept on moving, dodging some of the unsavory steps that came our way. Now, we can reflect on how some of these life encounters impacted our thinking paving the road to our current phase in life.
The Gift of Family and Friends
We did not get to choose our parents or family when we were born, nor the village, town, or city. The human and societal conditions, location, and language we inherited became our natural surroundings. Our setting, filled with so many multi-sensory and emotional activities molded our personality and outlook in life. Looking back at different pieces of our life history can give us some poignant moments where we can say, “Ah, those special, intimate, and dramatic times were definitely growth spurts for me.”
For some, life growth spurts can be those unsettling and unpredictable moments as an orphan, abandoned child or a family spat, while for others, it is receiving a healthy dose of love and nurturing from friends and family members. Some of those varied experiences may have placed us in a bubble where we felt protected with minimal risks, while for others who chose to engage in reckless, adventurous, and painful activities led them to see and experience the naked world spinning around them.
At an early age, we did not always understand those pivotal growth periods that were revolving around us. We simply soaked it in and kept on moving, dodging some of the unsavory steps that came our way. Now, we can reflect on how some of these life encounters impacted our thinking paving the road to our current phase in life.
The Gift of Family and Friends
In the midst of the death of a parent, family member, or a close friend, many of us can sense that genuine and heartfelt love and support from friends and family. The immense pain and loss will no doubt continue for some time, but for those brief moments where a quiet embrace touches our soul, we comprehend and sense the importance of close ties with our family circle of love. Having a healthy and supportive family connection whether biological or one we choose, is a life growth spurt that still drives our life and the decisions we make.
Each of us can think of a relative or close friend in our formative years that lifted our spirits by simply giving us a smile, a hug, or by asking us a question that made us feel we were valued. Frequently I would wrote little positive messages on yellow posted notes to my twin daughters in the mornings and placed them on the mirror so they would see them first thing in the morning. I didn’t really think it was such a big deal until later, as adults, they mentioned how meaningful those words of encouragement were.
Each of us can think of a relative or close friend in our formative years that lifted our spirits by simply giving us a smile, a hug, or by asking us a question that made us feel we were valued. Frequently I would wrote little positive messages on yellow posted notes to my twin daughters in the mornings and placed them on the mirror so they would see them first thing in the morning. I didn’t really think it was such a big deal until later, as adults, they mentioned how meaningful those words of encouragement were.
Letting someone else know we love them and value them is not a rocket science process. Just turning your head to them and focusing on their message or doing a simple task to make their life easier or being present at an event that is important to them sends a boat load of undeniable appreciation for who they are.
Close friends and caring family members can also be a reservoir of strength during those times when we are at the “end of our rope.” At that point we realize they are the only secure tether that holds us together. I have a close friend, Máximo, to whom I can share any and all triumphs and frailties and I know I will walk away with my spirit uplifted and the friendship still intact. What a comforting feeling to have that special bond.
I get calls from one sister in particular who misses our two deceased brothers and our mom and dad. The unexpected phone call serves to remind us both of our family members who once filled our life with laughter, joy, stories and jokes. On any given day and time, those memories and feelings surface and we want to share them with another loved one to honor their memory. They remind us of those special life growth spurts that our friends and family created for us.
Performing and Fine Arts
I am more of a performing arts kind of person since my visual arts skills are relatively absent. I have amazing friends and family members who have cultivated such impressive artistry in sketching a captivating and colorful painting or designing and molding, with their own hands, stone or bronze sculptors. You gaze and admire the art pieces and realize the deep commitment and sacrifice given to create those amazingly beautiful works of art.
Close friends and caring family members can also be a reservoir of strength during those times when we are at the “end of our rope.” At that point we realize they are the only secure tether that holds us together. I have a close friend, Máximo, to whom I can share any and all triumphs and frailties and I know I will walk away with my spirit uplifted and the friendship still intact. What a comforting feeling to have that special bond.
I get calls from one sister in particular who misses our two deceased brothers and our mom and dad. The unexpected phone call serves to remind us both of our family members who once filled our life with laughter, joy, stories and jokes. On any given day and time, those memories and feelings surface and we want to share them with another loved one to honor their memory. They remind us of those special life growth spurts that our friends and family created for us.
Performing and Fine Arts
I am more of a performing arts kind of person since my visual arts skills are relatively absent. I have amazing friends and family members who have cultivated such impressive artistry in sketching a captivating and colorful painting or designing and molding, with their own hands, stone or bronze sculptors. You gaze and admire the art pieces and realize the deep commitment and sacrifice given to create those amazingly beautiful works of art.
I am a wannabe guitarist and singer and occasionally play and sing knowing it relaxes me and builds up that inner spirit to appreciate all artists. I follow a personal motto where I do not walk away from any musician or artist who is sharing their work until they finish their song, read their poetry or describe their artistic rendition. They have earned that respect after the hours of practice and then the humility and willingness to come before an audience who may or not be appreciating their artistic offering.
A special friend, Boogie Bob, was an extraordinary and highly gifted pianist. He always entertained us with gusto along with his personal set of lame jokes and commentary. After losing him, we all remembered his unparalleled musical skills that he shared with us. I am profoundly gratified that I was able to express my gratitude and admiration to him for his gift when we could still chat with each other. We even recorded a musical CD, indeed a unique life growth spurt.
Presently, one of my personal getaway moments is via my Bluetooth earbuds and my playlist that includes a variety of music. This is an escape that soothes my soul.
Military Service
Many of the military veterans I have met are quiet and unassuming warriors who are deeply proud of their service. They are hesitant to share their inner wounds. When we gather as comrades in arms, we come to a point when the doors open and some begin to share some of the tightly held emotions. We all realize these intimate experiences as a soldier served as deep emotional life growth spurts!
Patriotism is a highly valued principle that is widely recognized as being a strong defender of one’s native land and its beliefs. For military veterans, it is the flag and the country that we represent and defend regardless of the background, gender, ethnicity, language and status of the citizens that reside in that country. Military vets understand that we are not pawns to be exploited by the political machinery. Resiliency, leadership, and discipline are some of the traits we cultivated as military veterans.
Bilingual & Bicultural Roots
“A person who speaks two languages is worth two people.” That is an expression I heard a long time ago. I never thought of the value or asset of being bilingual; I just knew I had to learn English well to compete in the social and working world. I used my Spanish primarily with friends and family who were bilingual and in some cases where we had the flexibility of code switching or speaking both languages in one sentence or phrase. Some folks call that “Spanglish.”
It was not until my Dad was ill that I made a serious effort to learn more about his Mexican roots and my own heritage. As I traced his route from his home town in Concepcion del Oro in Zacatecas, Mexico, I began to capture the extraordinary journey his family made as they trekked from their village to the Texas border town of Piedras Negras (on the Mexican side) or Eagle Pass to go to San Antonio. He mentioned how they initially used a horse drawn carriage and later getting on a flatbed train to move toward the Mexican and US border.
This new information renewed my interest in knowing more about his family. I submitted to a DNA search to get more details of my heritage and begin reviewing documents in the ancestral registries from both the United States and Mexico. The historical information gave me a panoramic view of my origins and ancestry. I now feel more complete as a person knowing more details about my background and roots, those life growth spurts that molded me.
However, now I realize that I am just a moving family piece because my children and grandchildren will continue to build on that heritage. One of my responsibilities is to provide a foundation they can access to help them appreciate the continuing saga of their family roots so that they too will experience their own life growth spurt.
Social Injustice
A special friend, Boogie Bob, was an extraordinary and highly gifted pianist. He always entertained us with gusto along with his personal set of lame jokes and commentary. After losing him, we all remembered his unparalleled musical skills that he shared with us. I am profoundly gratified that I was able to express my gratitude and admiration to him for his gift when we could still chat with each other. We even recorded a musical CD, indeed a unique life growth spurt.
Presently, one of my personal getaway moments is via my Bluetooth earbuds and my playlist that includes a variety of music. This is an escape that soothes my soul.
Military Service
Many of the military veterans I have met are quiet and unassuming warriors who are deeply proud of their service. They are hesitant to share their inner wounds. When we gather as comrades in arms, we come to a point when the doors open and some begin to share some of the tightly held emotions. We all realize these intimate experiences as a soldier served as deep emotional life growth spurts!
Patriotism is a highly valued principle that is widely recognized as being a strong defender of one’s native land and its beliefs. For military veterans, it is the flag and the country that we represent and defend regardless of the background, gender, ethnicity, language and status of the citizens that reside in that country. Military vets understand that we are not pawns to be exploited by the political machinery. Resiliency, leadership, and discipline are some of the traits we cultivated as military veterans.
Bilingual & Bicultural Roots
“A person who speaks two languages is worth two people.” That is an expression I heard a long time ago. I never thought of the value or asset of being bilingual; I just knew I had to learn English well to compete in the social and working world. I used my Spanish primarily with friends and family who were bilingual and in some cases where we had the flexibility of code switching or speaking both languages in one sentence or phrase. Some folks call that “Spanglish.”
It was not until my Dad was ill that I made a serious effort to learn more about his Mexican roots and my own heritage. As I traced his route from his home town in Concepcion del Oro in Zacatecas, Mexico, I began to capture the extraordinary journey his family made as they trekked from their village to the Texas border town of Piedras Negras (on the Mexican side) or Eagle Pass to go to San Antonio. He mentioned how they initially used a horse drawn carriage and later getting on a flatbed train to move toward the Mexican and US border.
This new information renewed my interest in knowing more about his family. I submitted to a DNA search to get more details of my heritage and begin reviewing documents in the ancestral registries from both the United States and Mexico. The historical information gave me a panoramic view of my origins and ancestry. I now feel more complete as a person knowing more details about my background and roots, those life growth spurts that molded me.
However, now I realize that I am just a moving family piece because my children and grandchildren will continue to build on that heritage. One of my responsibilities is to provide a foundation they can access to help them appreciate the continuing saga of their family roots so that they too will experience their own life growth spurt.
Social Injustice
It is unfortunate that negative and painful actions that we experience such as discrimination, disrespect, and personal challenges, can also serve as life growth spurts. During those moments, we can accept defeat or fight back using our smarter instincts to outmaneuver the opponent. I am reminded of César Chávez and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and their approach but also the strategy of interrupting the status quo using the group’s own protocols and guidelines to thwart and discourage their mindset. The growth part is discovering the more solid approach to seek and attain change. Social injustice will always be present given the divisiveness within our world and the refusal to listen to our neighbors and fellow citizens. Some folks will never outgrow those tendencies while others will look around and see the possibilities to experience yet another growth spurt. To some, this may sound naïve but indeed we always have choices.
Mentoring and Advocacy
My dissertation focused on the impact of mentoring for leaders who were seeking a new assignment. Almost 80% indicated that when they had a mentor present, their confidence grew and their pathway had more clarity. My growth spurt as a school leader, I owe to a quiet and wise mentor, Tom Maes, who believed in me and nudged me to the next level. I have learned to practice what I researched by being a mentor.
Similarly, we encounter opportunities and individuals who feel stranded or dismissed waiting for someone to advocate for them and open the darn doors. As we move within our professional and life routines, we come across some actions and situations that need our attention and advocacy. We can ignite a growth spurt for someone else if we choose to take an interest in them or in the obstacle at hand. To side step it or to ignore it may rob of us another opportunity to grow.
Personal Reflection
Sometimes we don’t recognize or acknowledge our life growth spurts perhaps due to not wanting to dwell on a negative situation or to make a big fuss about a beautiful life growth spurt. Reflecting on where we are at the moment and what life growth spurts brought us here can be illuminating and liberating. I do seek moments of solitude to think of events in my past, both positive and negative, that forged a change in my life either in a small way or in a monumental manner. I embrace those life growth spurts.
Later.
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Manuel Ramos writes crime fiction.
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