Friday, August 23, 2024

Bitter Sweet Memory in a Paragraph




My father was a fisherman, a good one, and he took me with him on one of his camping trips to Lake of the Clouds in the Sangre de Cristo Wilderness, near Westcliffe. I was a kid, still carrying baby fat, but my dad and a couple of uncles expected me to hike with them several miles into the mountains, help set up our tent, and then to clean the fish I caught. Everyone except me hooked several cutthroat and rainbow trout. I don’t remember catching any fish, but I certainly recall trekking up steep and rocky trails for what seemed like days. I didn’t appreciate the natural beauty of the mountains or the peacefulness of the clear, pure lake, but I knew that my father did. He fished with a smile on his face, no matter how many times I tangled my fishing line or snagged a hand or an arm with a hook I couldn’t control. The only positive memory I kept from that trip was the sight of cutthroat trout swimming towards me. They churned the lake water as they swam in a V formation to the worm on my line, and, in my recollection, they swerved away from the rocky shore at the last possible second, in precise synchronization. I told myself for years that I would return to the lake one day and catch a rainbow or a cutthroat, but that never happened.

Later.

_________________

Manuel Ramos writes crime fiction. Read his latest story, Northside Nocturne, in the award-winning anthology Denver Noir, edited by Cynthia Swanson, published by Akashic Books.

Thursday, August 22, 2024

Chicanonautica: Weirdo Summer Update

 


So, we’ve got a summer of change, a helluvalot of it. I can’t keep up with it. A clever wisecrack about the political situation becomes obsolete by the time I post it. The Latinoid is still a popular target for the backward types. Guess I need to take a few breaths, see how things are working out in the long run.



Meanwhile, I’m going to be teaching my “Gonzo Science Fiction, Chicano Style” class again online, at Palabras del Pueblo, October 5-6, & 12-13. And you don’t have to be a Chicano, just somewhere in the vast, planet-embracing Latinoid continuum with a wild imagination fueled by your culture, and ready to blast off to places no Anglo has dreamed of.


I’m also picking the winners of the Somos en escrito Extra Fiction contest again. Send your submissions between August 1st and November 1st. I’m going to be in the mood for synapse-scorching reading material.



No matter who wins the election, if it’s closer to utopia or dystopia—and I am aware that what is utopia to some is dystopia to others—we’re going to need visions, to either give us some clues, or keep us ready to deal with the unexpected.


And is there ever a motherload of the unexpected coming down, causing strange things to grow inside my brain . . .



Ernest Hogan wants you to remember, that’s “Gonzo Science Fiction, Chicano Style” at the Fall 2024 Palabras del Pueblo Writing Workshop, online, and Extra Fiction contest. Then there's the matter of  this book called Guerrilla Mural of a Siren's Song . . .

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Mercedes Sosa: Voice of the People- Mercedes Sosa: La voz del pueblo


Written and Illustrated by Aixa Pérez-Prado


Publisher: Lee & Low Books; Standard Edition (September 17, 2024)

Hardcover: ‎40 pages

ISBN-10: 0892394706

ISBN-13: 978-0892394708


A stirring picture book biography of one of Latin America's most beloved singers and political activists, Mercedes Sosa.

Have you ever heard a song that made your heart soar?

A canción that captured your corazón?

A voice so powerful that it made you feel ready to change the world?

This is the story of a singer whose voice sailed through the air like the wings of a condor,

inspiring people everywhere.

Written and illustrated by Aixa Pérez-Prado, this is the powerful biography of Argentinean folksinger and activist Mercedes Sosa. Affectionately known as La Negra, Mercedes used her musical talents and powerful voice to speak out against poverty and inequality in her home country. In the face of a cruel dictatorship, Mercedes refused to be silenced. She bravely stepped on stage to lend a "voice to the voiceless" with uplifting songs of empathy and empowerment. Her unforgettable music and messages of hope continue to resonate with people across the world to this day.



Una conmovedora biografía ilustrada de una de las cantantes y activistas políticas más queridas de América Latina, Mercedes Sosa.

¿Alguna vez has oído una canción que te elevó a lo más alto?

¿Una canción que capturó tu corazón?

¿Una voz tan poderosa que te hizo sentir listo para cambiar el mundo?

Esta es la historia de una cantora cuya voz navegó por el aire como las alas de un cóndor,

inspirando al pueblo en cada latido de la tierra.

Escrita e ilustrada por Aixa Pérez-Prado, esta es la conmovedora historia de la cantante folklórica y activista política argentina Mercedes Sosa. Conocida cariñosamente como la Negra, Mercedes utilizó su talento musical y su poderosa voz para denunciar la pobreza y la desigualdad en su país. Ante una cruel dictadura, Mercedes se negó a ser silenciada. Con valentía subió al escenario para "dar voz a los que no tienen voz" con canciones edificantes de empatía y empoderamiento. Su música inolvidable y sus mensajes de esperanza continúan resonando en personas de todo el mundo hasta el día de hoy.


Review

"Distilling Argentina's history into accessible text, the work ends on an uplifting note, discussing how the figure's 'songs of empathy and esperanza, fearlessness and fuerza helped the country begin to heal.'" -- Publishers Weekly


"Accessible Spanish terms used within context pop up throughout the pages, enriching the text.... The illustrations add intensity, using rich hues, cutouts, and color overlays to enhance the drama of the action, punctuating the emotions beneath Sosa's lyrics and emphasizing the courage it took to sing those songs during the repressive regime. A fitting tribute to an exceptional woman." -- Booklist


Aixa Pérez-Prado is an author, an illustrator, and a university professor of linguistic and cultural studies. Originally from Buenos Aires, she crafts stories that explore intersectional identities, the need for belonging, and the richness of bilingualism. In her early years, Aixa found inspiration in the powerful voice of Mercedes Sosa and was drawn to the profound messages of social justice, human rights, and compassion in her music. These messages prompted her to embark on a personal journey of self-discovery, exploring her own blended Indigenous and European heritage through the mediums of art, literature, and music. Aixa lives with her family in Miami, Florida. You can learn more about her at aixaperezprado.com.



Tuesday, August 20, 2024

Review: Dispossessed, History With Happy Ending

Review: Désirée Zamorano. Dispossessed. RIZE Press, 2024. ISBN (pbk) 978-1-960018-43-4

Michael Sedano

 

People not yet familiar with the historical foundation of the action in Désirée Zamorano's Dispossessed, will turn the book's pages with wide-open eyes. People familiar with Chicano history nod their head and turn the pages hoping for a fairy tale.


Zamorano withholds any fairy tales from the lives of her characters, instead putting them through racist and economic terror for the singular reason they are raza. 


Manuel's story begins with the violence of family separation in 1939. Parents disappear, a small  boy and his older sister are together another day then the sister and boy get torn away from each other. The sister, a few years older, blesses her brother upon separation with a wish he take good care of himself, " “Portate bien, seas un buen niño, seas mi hermanito, valiente y bueno.” 


The Boy grows into a family man, and all those years he seeks his missing sister and parents. It's the loss of a lifetime for one character but not an isolated historical event. As we readers suffer with Manuel, we are keenly aware the Republican president before Biden, that GOPendejo running for a black job, endorsed family separation and today hundreds of Manuels wonder where their parents have disappeared to?


It's not only families who disappear in Dispossessed. Manuel is taken to a foster home in the Palo Verde, Chavez Ravine area of Los Angeles. Now the location of a professional baseball stadium, Chavez Ravine and Palo Verde were thriving, although poverty-stricken, communities.

 

The destruction of the community happens in the background until the day Manuel and his guardian, Tía Amparo, move out to Whittier to live with Amparo's natural son. By moving out, Manuel escapes crummy schooling, racist teachers, and murderous cops. Who knew that using a playground swing after dark was a capital crime?


Being an historical novel, Dispossessed sweeps across time. Each chapter reflects another year in this citizen's progress and growth of raza sensibilities, despite Manuel's own conservative outlook. When the word "chicano" comes out of a character's mouth--Manuel's wife Lizette--Manuel pronounces it "an ugly word."

 

The sweep of history requires abbreviated stories. Across the book's 29 chapters, Zamorano spreads the characters' misery while maintaining their decency in the face of one disaster following another.

 

Manuel meets decent people and rotten people. He meets the local notary who doesn't take much of Manuel's money to help locate the parents and sister. It's this man's tactic that eventually proves fruitful. There's a rotten guy at the docks who skims payroll from the teenaged worker. There are indifferent tipos at the Mexican Consulate who give less than a hoot about Manuel's need to find his familia in Mexico. In a sly critique, a consulate clerk tells Manuel pochos like him need to read Rain of Gold.

 

Familia is Manuel's greatest need. Not just his deported gente, his own wife and child. Although the couple dream of having three or four kids, after a series of miscarriages, Lizette is able to hold a pregnancy and gives birth to Dahlia. She gives birth at Los Angeles County Hospital, where the doctors sterilize her without her conscious knowledge.

 

" No mas bebes por vida" Manuel thinks, a thought that cites Virginia Espino's film of that name. https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/documentaries/no-mas-bebes/

Thank you, Désirée Zamorano, for the scene where Manuel tracks down the doctor who  sterilized Lizette. An ass-kicking in a parking structure can't recitify the wrongs done to so many women, but a good punch in the face leaves a sense of just desserts, if only in Manuel's thoughts.

 

It's the 1970s when the story draws to its close. Manuel and Lizette have separated and reconciled, their friend Beto continues living on the edge of money and influence, their chicana activist daughter, Dahlia, is at UCLA getting an MA, and things look good other than Manuel's emptiness and longing for his birth familia.

 

If Dispossessed were a fairy tale, Manuel would reunite with his familia. His mother would have died, but the father would be alive somewhere in Mexico. Manuel's sister, Lulu, would appear. I would hope the author wouldn't saddle the sister with diabetes and obesity, why would she? I would hope the brother-in-law's disappeared child isn't forced to search for their own origins, a parallel to Manuel's story. That is, if Dispossessed is a fairy tale.

 

Readers of the book--due for release in September--will have their own views and hopes for these characters.

 

 Read the author's thoughts on writing this book at yesterday's La Bloga

 

Pre-order from the publisher at https://runningwildpublishing.com/rize-press/




Monday, August 19, 2024

Peeling Away Decades of Whitewashing Our History: On the Writing of the Novel, Dispossessed


A guest essay by Désirée Zamorano

When I wrote The Amado Women it was in part to address the pervasive misrepresentation of my demographic, Mexican American women, Latinas, who are so poorly portrayed in the media. Years later, when I sat down to write this novel, Dispossessed, our portrayal has improved, incrementally, it seems, but not quickly or deeply enough. And our history? Buried, forgotten.

            From the 1930s to the 1950s an estimated 2 million people, Mexican Americans and Mexican nationals, were expelled from this country. Few of us know about this essential American history. The famous line, “A single death is a tragedy, million deaths is a statistic,” informed me that that’s how our history would have to be portrayed, through the life of someone buffeted and impacted by this historical event. I kept waiting for someone to write that novel. I looked around and waited some more. I waited long enough to realize that someone was me.

            As the idea percolated, I watched the 2013 film Philomena and was moved by the ache of a mother whose son was taken from her. What, I wondered, would it be like to be that son, in a world before instant searches and connections?

I decided that I would write the life of a boy who was separated from his family during the mass expatriation. How would he survive? Who would he grow into?

The idea kept percolating. I happened to see the film A Man Named Ove, and appreciated the challenge of portraying a man who was essentially good. I wanted to write about that kind of man.

In 2018, I sat down to write Dispossessed and it was like sitting down to write the wind. I knew the characters in my heart, in my soul. I knew what they looked like, their tenderness, their sadness, their losses and great joys. My challenge as a writer was to be sure the readers, too, had a sense of all that.

            In addition to the research required for historical fiction, like all fiction it demands emotional truth. I dug into myself. As a child I attended a small Baptist church that my grandfather was the minister of, and I wanted to be sure to incorporate some of those elements. I had a grandmother whose long, gray-black hair fell to her knees but was usually braided up like a thick halo around her head; I wanted to capture some of that and honor her.

            I also wanted to remind the reader that Mexican Americans were not new to this part of the world. We were here hundreds of years ago, and we will be here hundreds of years to come.

A few months after I started writing this book, our government separated families at the border. Our government caged children. I wanted my novel to be relevant, and timely, but not like this. Five years later, there remained separated families.

When the time came to find an agent I pitched my completed novel to a famous one, and her jaw dropped as I mentioned the mass expatriation. She was immediately skeptical. “Look up Wikipedia,” I countered. “In the 1950s the government called it ‘Operation Wetback.’” How come she had never heard of this? she asked, remaining skeptical, and declining to represent me. (I ultimately sold the book without an agent).

The reason I write, gentle reader, is to peel away the decades of whitewashing of our history and our people and RE-present ourselves, in the complexity of our many challenges, and the dignity in which many of us face them. It is a very strange experience to write scenes that make me, the writer, emotional. I sincerely hope my words, this novel, will have the same impact on my readers.

***

Désirée Zamorano is the author of the highly acclaimed literary novel, The Amado Women, which will be re-released by Lee and Low Press in 2025. An award-winning and Pushcart prize nominee short story writer, her work is often an exploration of issues of invisibility, injustice or inequity. A selection of Zamorano’s writing can be found in Catapult, Cultural Weekly, The Kenyon Review Online, and Akashic’s South Central Noir. “Caperucita Roja” was chosen as a distinguished short story in Best of American Mystery and Suspense, 2022. Her novel Dispossessed is out from Running Wild Press. The University of Nevada Press will be publishing her collection of short stories in spring of 2026. Zamorano will be reading from and signing Dispossessed at Vroman’s Bookstore in Pasadena, on September 13, at 7:00 p.m.


Friday, August 16, 2024

Poetry Connection: Connecting with Poets of Different Generations

Melinda Palacio


 Earlier this month, David Starkey, Santa Barbara Poet Laureate from 2009-2011, hosted his semi-annual poetry series at the Goleta Valley Library August 4. Given that it was the last day of Fiesta, it was nice to see a full house. I was honored to read with a lineup that showcased four different generations of Santa Barbara County poets. Library technician Craig Clevenger is thrilled to have the series at the Goleta Valley Library. “I am truly moved by the participation and attendance at these events,” he said. “That such a thriving community for poetry is alive and well here is proof that Santa Barbara is a bright pin in the literary map.”

 

Musician and Vietnam Veteran, Ruben Lee Dalton read from his book of poetry, Broken Bottles, a book that was published four years ago, during the pandemic. As many authors whose books were released during covid lockdown, it’s tough to figure out how to relaunch a book. Dalton’s first reading and presentation of Broken Bottles was on David Starkey’s television show, the Creative Community. When I asked the poet about his plans for a relaunch of his book, he nodded and mentioned he was thinking about it. His poems speak about fatherhood and human nature and the natural world. His poems about being a combat veteran are some of the best examples of that genre. I look forward to seeing more events surrounding this important poetry collection. 

 

While Dalton was our eldest poet, I represented the next generation or the Gen X group. My set of poems dealt with more contemporary political issues, such as the Dobbs decision, Black Lives Matter, and the border, specifically my poem that reimagines the legend of La Llorona. I had some friends in the audience who I hadn’t seen in over fifteen years. I read some older poems that I usually don’t read. 

 

Putting a set together is important to me. We all have attended poetry readings where the poet is not prepared and is flipping through their books and pages, trying to decide which poem to read. This causes the audience to lose their interest, however much they adore the poet. It’s important to respect the audience and to prepare a set. And, it’s always good to have a few extra poems prepared in case you are allotted extra time. 

 

I usually have a guitar or ukulele with me and if I am the only reader, I might plan on playing a song. At the library, because there were four readers, I left my instruments at home. It turned out I could have played a tune. A traffic incident caused two of our poets to be delayed and our host invited me to read a little longer. I was glad I had extra poems, but regretted that the one time I had left my guitar at home was when I could have used it. A lesson learned. Always be prepared. 

 

Next, our soon-to-be college student and Youth Poet Laureate, Jasmine Guerrero Sevilla arrived and read her poems. Last month’s guest column, featured an interview of Jasmine by Cie Gumicio. Jasmine writes effectively and lyrically in both English and Spanish. I am glad that her voice is being celebrated. Starting college at Sacramento State and a turn as Santa Barbara’s Youth Poet Laureate seems daunting, but after meeting her, I am sure she will excel at both. 

 

Our youngest reader was 10-year-old poet Soe Bender. With two parents who are writers, it’s no wonder Soe is already being published in this year’s California Poets in the Schools 2024 State Anthology. She was inspired to write her first poem when she was 8 years old after reading Inside Out & Back Again by Thanhha Lai. I wanted to know what she liked about writing poetry. She said, “I like that I can express my feelings through the rhythm of the words.” She reads her work with authority and energy. She is an impressive child and poet. 

 

This week’s poem comes from Soe Bender. 

 

 

 

I Am From…

 

By Soe Bender

 

I am from the sound of my dad, strumming his guitar,

music echoing through the walls

 

I am from the warmth of the sun and the patter of the rain on my face

When I step outside each day

 

I am from the pots clanging in the kitchen

Garlic and spices drifting through the air all around

 

I am from my first word, my first step, my first hug

Memories I will never forget

 

I am from laughs and smiles from my family and friends

That can cheer up any sad day

 

I am from the soft waves lapping against my feet

As my heels dig into the sun-kissed sand

 

I am from the snowy mountains

 

I am from the rolling hills

 

I am from everything that has made me happy or sad

Because all those things are apart of me

 

 

Soe Bender lives in Santa Barbara with her mom, dad, brother and dog, Cosmo. She spends most of her time drawing, writing, and painting. She enjoys listening to K-pop music and loves to express her creativity in different ways. 




*an earlier version of this column was published in the Santa Barbara Independent


Thursday, August 15, 2024

Children of Immigrants

                                                                             

   University High School, Los Unidos, West Los Angeles, 1940s

     My mother and her older siblings were the children of Mexican immigrants, refugees fleeing the violence of the 1910 Mexican Revolution, seeking a better life in el norte, not the United States, just el norte. If one understands history, there was a difference in the Mexican mind.

     Of all her brothers and sisters, only she and her older sister, Antonia “Toni,” were born in the U.S., in Santa Monica, “natural born citizens,” paradoxically, and politically, different from the rest of her family, "naturalized citizens" or "legal permanent residents."

     In 1920, when the Gonzales family arrived, there were no strict immigration laws between Mexico and the U.S., to speak of, no such thing as "illegal" immigration. People crossed to the other side whenever they desired, to work, to visit relatives, or to shop and return home, all for one-cent, if you wanted to use the bridge. In 1917, the federal government imposed a eight-dollar entry fee, along with passing a literacy test, mainly targeted at European and Asian immigrants, who were seen as threats to American businessmen, farmers and shopkeepers, who wanted to eliminate the competition. U.S. business, pretty much, spread open a "welcome mat" to cheap Mexican labor.

      At El Paso, if you didn’t mind getting wet, you could avoid the fees and paperwork by walking across the river, no big deal. There was no immigration enforcement. Mexicans viewed the federal immigration fees more as a convenience to use the border crossing and stay dry. American contractors even visited Mexican villagers recruiting workers.

     In fact, all the way up to the 1970s, people crossed the border as agents watched to make sure no one was carrying anything illegal or dangerous. Remember, sneaking in firecrackers was the rage. If you could get in a cherry bomb, you were king.

     After a while, maybe the early 1980s, during the trumped-up “War on Drugs,” things got tight, and agents asked to see driver’s licenses. That was about it, until politicians realized “immigration” was a good campaign issue, used first in the 1930s, during the Great Depression, when unemployed Americans wanted answers and politicians had no clue. Economists say a country’s financial stability, usually, has little to do with governments, Republican or Democrats but more to do with the ebb and flow of industry and commerce, as well as reckless business practices.

     Politicians could never blame the captains of industry for unscrupulous business practices and reckless gambling on Wall Street, so they blamed it on immigration, particularly Mexican immigrants, and deported thousands of Mexicans, including some Mexican Americans, who had been in the country for years, working and paying taxes, all documented in Decade of Betrayal, by Francisco Balderrama and Raymond Rodriguez, and again, in 1940’s when a plane loaded with Mexican farmworkers flying to a deportation center in El Centro, California, went down, crashed, and burned outside Coalinga. The newspapers identified the pilots flying the plane, but they didn’t mention the name of one passenger, as if hiding the tragedy from the public. Somebody got the bright idea to bury them in a mass grave some place in Fresno. Woody Guthrie captured that tale in his song, “Deportees.”

     My mother’s family settled in barrio of frame houses, more like shanties, two miles from the Pacific, where there was plenty of work in the brickyards, beanfields, and packing sheds, low-paying jobs Americans didn’t want.

      Raised on 22nd Street, just off Olympic Boulevard, in the late 1930s, she recalled her neighbors, one Anglo man, a businessman, who lived in a largest home, a white house at the corner, two or three Japanese families, one African American family, and rest, friends and relatives who hailed from the same towns and villages from Los Alto de Jalisco.

     The Mexicans followed the path laid by families like the Marquez and Reyes, who left Jalisco in the early 1800s, settled first in Los Angeles, near the Placita, then Santa Monica, where they built their ranchos and acquired acres and acres of land.

     She told me, she never had the desire to visit the family ranch in Jalisco, where her relatives still farmed the land near the town of San Gaspar de Los Reyes, in the village of Mitic. After all, she said, at sixteen she had just been released from spending three years at Olive View Hospital, recuperating from tuberculosis, which she later learned had been misdiagnosed.

     Once home, she tried to make up for lost time. She finished high school, worked at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills, attended dances, and enjoyed the movies in downtown Santa Monica. Her family, in Mexico, was the furthest thing from her mind. So, when her oldest brother, Jesus, asked if she’d accompany him and their mother, Eusebia, on a trip to visit relatives, she answered, emphatically, “No.”

     Her older brother, whom she affectionately called “Chuy,” was relentless, begging her then insisting. Chuy had lived on the family ranch in Mexico for a couple of years, as a teenager, and returned now and again. As she remembered it, “We all worked, but my brother Chuy would leave home, go to other states, work, and send my mother his check, every week, to support the family.”

     Her father, Nicolas, was in his forties when he contracted emphysema after working, for years, in Santa Monica’s brickyards, before dying. My father once told me, “In those days, they didn’t wear masks or any type of protection. They worked in clouds of red dust all day with just hankies over their noses and mouths. They didn’t know they were breathing in pieces of brick. Over time, their lungs just disintegrated. They ended up choking to death.”

     My mother told me, like working through a math problem, "Chuy, my brother," she said, chuckling, "had lived in Mitic for a few years. He had a girlfriend there. I didn't know then, but he didn't want my mom to know, and he was taking my mom with him. I guess he figured I could keep my mother distracted while he went to see his girlfriend, but I think he had a baby, too. He might have even been married but nobody really knew. My brother was private."

     Mitic, the family village, was a once thriving community, until revolutions, revolts, and draughts devastated most of it, sending the people fleeing to San Juan, Aguascalientes, and the United States, many to Santa Monica.

     When she visited Mitic, my mother was fully Americanized and not a hint of Mexican ranch life in her. She wore slacks and blouses, Rita Haworth-style, at a time when ranch women in Mexico wore long, dark dresses down to their ankles.

     "They were so poor," she remembered. "All they had to offer us were cooked beans and a little soup." 

     My mother spoke as if she had been transported back in time. She was a teenager again. She said her mother decided to stay with her sister in San Juan de Los Lagos, while she, herself, chose to “rough it” and stay on the ranch with her father’s family, where she met a young cousin, Patricia, whom she liked, right off.

     The village was nearly deserted, the dirt streets empty, and many of the adobe homes decaying. Mitic had fallen onto difficult times, most of the men gone, looking for work.

     "I had to sleep on…not even a bed. It was like a cot, and it nearly rested on the dirt floor."

     The house was made of adobe and in poor condition. At night when she tried to sleep, she could hear scampering in the house followed by banging noises. Sometime in the early morning, she opened her eyes and saw the face of a large rat staring back at her. The rats were everywhere. The next day, she told her mother, she could not stay in that house another night. "I felt so bad because I had planned on staying a few nights, but the next day I packed up and left."

     It was a difficult departure because she, and her cousin, Patricia, had formed a bond. My mother remembered, “She was about fifteen and very pretty…a beautiful girl."

     Patricia asked if my mother could stay for her confirmation. My mother said Patricia had confided in her, saying she had nothing nice to wear for the ceremony. By contrast, my mother said her family in San Juan was middle-class. One of her aunts was a teacher and college educated, and they lived in very nice but modest home. The children, her cousins, all played musical instruments. “They were all very friendly but didn’t have much.”

     After leaving San Juan, they went to visit relatives in Aguascalientes, a major city, and back in the 40s, hours from San Juan by car. "Those relatives who lived in Aguascalientes were very, very wealthy."

     My mother described how my grandmother's sister had married a banker. The family owned a house with many rooms, the floors covered in Saltillo stone, a courtyard and fountain, and maids to care for the children. These relatives were polite and friendly but a bit reserved, and they were wealthier and more refined than any of the relatives that had migrated to the U.S.

     As soon as my mom arrived home, to Santa Monica, she excitedly told her mother she wanted to send Patricia a confirmation dress, one of her own. She picked the prettiest one she could find. She hoped the dress would fit. She and her cousin were about the same size. She wrapped it, took it to the post office, and sent it to Patricia, hoping to surprise her.

     A few months passed. She heard nothing from Patricia or her parents. Then, after what seemed a long time, my mother received a letter from Patricia's parents. They wrote, telling my mother how much Patricia loved the dress. However, Patricia had become ill not long after my mother’s departure. Patricia grew worse, and she died. They thanked my mother for the dress and told her their daughter looked beautiful wearing the dress in the casket.

     As she told me this, my mother’s eyes glazed over, her voice cracked, "It was so sad." 

     I think there was a little tinge in her voice, as if saying, “So you want to know what it was like in Mexico and why our family came to the United States?”

     What came to my mind was the old dicho, “There but for the grace of God go I.”