Breaking News April 1, Twenty Twenty Too

Melinda Palacio

2022 News Hound

 

Top Ten Breaking News Items of Today, April 1, TwentyTwentyToo

1. The Easter Bunny will now take over Santa Claus's duties and Peeps production will increase the  replacement of chocolate santas, buñuelos, and candy canes. 

2. Due to the overconsumption of blueberries, there will be a blueberry tax on each berry, especially if used on gentrified donuts. 

3. Will Smith is a nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize. 

4.  The CDC has declared that a tequila shot may stand in for a covid booster.

5. New Orleans health officials have discovered that a beignet a day keeps the witch doctor away.

6. The City of Los Angeles will buy gasoline for sedans with more than four occupants. 

7. Chocolate is not only good for your health, the fruit of the Aztecs also heals broken hearts. 

8. Japanese scientist have discovered a way to make dogs speak human languages. The dog food companies are not happy about this discovery. 

9. The Vatican confirms that all people who play music will go to heaven. 

10. Bookstores will no longer sell poetry. 

Pandora wishes everyone a safe and sane April  1.