Thursday, November 17, 2022

Chicanonautica: Hockey-Pucking Through the Arizona Midterms

by Ernest Hogan

Following the midterms in Arizona has been like chasing a hockey puck, being batted around, bouncing off things, not knowing what will come next.

 

Since my last column:


A federal judge “ordered that a group monitoring Arizona ballot drop boxes for signs of fraud stay at least 75 feet away from ballot boxes and publicly correct false statements its members have made about Arizona election laws.”


Maricopa County’s sheriff warned political leaders “not 'to incite violence or riots' with false claims, sent extra police to polling places, and barricades went up around elections offices.”


There was a break in at Democratic gubernatorial hopeful Katie Hobbs’ headquarters. When suspicion was cast on Republican gubernatorial candidate Kari “Trump in a Dress” Lake, called an Emergency Press Conference in which she showed fake picture of a man in a chicken suit breaking into her headquarters, and attacked the press.


Lake told a reporter, “I am going to not only be the governor of Arizona for four years, I’m going to do two terms. I’m going to be your worst fricking nightmare for eight years.” Her transformation from smiling news gerbil to fire-breathing politician is complete. She’s always screaming hallucinatory nonsense. Maybe there’s something to that wild rumor that she’s hooked on datura enemas.


A suspect in the Hobbs HQ break in was arrested and wasn’t politically motivated.


An envelope with a hateful letter and a mysterious white powder was found at Lake headquarters but was thrown away. Police couldn’t find any powder in two other letters.

 

 

And the race was still close. 


My scifiista mind conjured up a scenario where I’m trying to sneak across the new border from recently seceded Lakeian AZ into California, so we don’t lose our Medicare and Social Security. Would the fact that I was born in East L.A. make me a citizen of the new United States? Would my Arizona marriage be recognized?


Early on Election Day, there was some trouble with the tabulators at some polling places. The glitch was fixed by noon. Kari Lake snarled about “incompetence.”


Except for that, it was a quiet Election Day. No incident at the polls. 

There was a lot of talk about a Red Wave, but even though races were tight all over the country, it didn’t happen. Trump-backed candidates–particularly, celebrity-physician Dr. Mehmet Oz–lost.


The next morning, Michael A. Cohen of MSNBC stated: “While we still don’t have the final results, Democratic losses will be nowhere close to the historical averages.” After a day of agonizing doldrums, more results came in:


Democrat Mark Kelly kept his Senate seat from extreme Republican Blake Masters. Democrat Adrian Fontes beat Republican Mark Finchem for Secretary of State. Hobbs is the new Governor, but the Attorney General race is a toss-up.


On the national front, Ron DeSantis kept the governorship of Florida, and is being hailed as the new hero of the Republican Party. Trump got mad.


Lake supporters marched around the Maricopa County Tabulation and Election Center, trying to reenact the Biblical Battle of Jericho.


What does it mean to La Bloga readers? Well, I have noticed that there was no reaching out to Latinos in the last few weeks of the election–even after Lake made an awkward Spanish-language ad earlier. Democrats Hobbs and Kelly both made ads showing them as being tough on “the border.”


Yeah, I know that it was strategic, because it comes down to winning over those peculiar folks who can vote fascist or socialist depending on the prevailing mood, but it stings that a lot of our fellow Americanos still see us as a problem, instead of a solution.


And on the other hand, Proposition 308, that approved in-state tuition of all qualifying students regardless of immigration status, passed.


Meanwhile, a zombie-like Trump has announced his run for the presidency in 2024 . . .


Ernest Hogan, Father of Chicano Sci-Fi, works hard to keep his fiction stranger than the news.

1 comment:

Daniel Cano said...

Thanks for the update, Ernest. The only thing different from this smooth election and the last chaotic election, with all the attacks on voting centers and threats to voting workers was that tRump wasn't on the ticket. He caused all the chaos. Yet, people will still vote for him. Sad, sad, sad. Though, some say even though he's announced he'll run, many ex-Trump insiders say he won't. His announcement is a threat meant to sew discord.