What To Do When Stage Fright Strikes

Melinda Palacio

I understand your stage fright, but not my own. This newfound rack of nerves is something I am owning up to in order to squash my fear. As a writer, reading my work in publish has always been a breeze. I write the stuff and reading it aloud to others is fairly easy, even when my middle-aged eyes fail me and I have trouble seeing the words when there is little light. I have a good idea of what the text should say and therefore can usually fill in if necessary. However, recently, I’ve dipped my toes into waters deeper than my comfort zone. I’ve started singing and playing the guitar, something I didn’t think I could ever do, let alone perform in public. I’ve blogged about my journey in learning the guitar and writing songs. The first song I wrote was an accompaniment to my poetry book, Bird Forgiveness. You can hear it on you tube. Although I said I would put up new songs on my channel, I have yet to do it. Part of it has to do with this shy stage fright business I need to nip. 

While I don’t get nervous speaking in public, singing in public sets on a whole set of nervous reactions. First, my voice becomes very thin and barely audible. I have difficulty summoning the outdoor voice I am sometimes famous for. Stage fright takes over and I start to make mistakes in my guitar playing, knowing I’m making mistakes me me even more frightened and nervous.

Although songwriting and poetry have something in common, ask Bob Dylan, performing those songs is not as easy as reading my own poetry. Two weeks ago, at the Core Winery in Orcutt, I decided to take a leap of faith and perform the Bird Forgiveness theme song. As a featured reader, along with Toni Wynn, I figured I would take advantage of the extra time I had and work in a song into my presentation. The Core Winery is an intimate  and relaxed tasting room and the proprietors, Becky and Dave Corey treat everyone like family. The tasting room serves as Orcutt’s community center and hosts all kinds of events in addition to poetry and music (they’ve even held discussions with a doula (a person that assists with the final hours of life). I knew that the comfortable space of the winery was where I wanted to debut the Bird Forgiveness song in public. 

At least I’ve learned some tricks over the years that have helped me become a better speaker, and hopefully, a better singer and guitarist. I can share three helpful tips with you. The first is something Becky Corey pointed: no one but you knows you’ve goofed. After performing my song and replaying all the mistakes I made, I mentioned the fact that I had made mistakes and she said that no one but me knew that I had made a mistake. This is something that’s important. When you are reading prose or poetry, if you stumble on a word or a line, it’s acceptable, and sometimes helpful, to repeat the line so the overall meaning will not be lost. This repetition is not necessary in a song. And never start all over, unless you are Patti Smith. Number two is volume. Saying it loud, singing it loud, can trick you and the audience into thinking you have all the confidence in the world. My last tip is to over prepare. Even if you are reading just one poem or singing one song, knowing the material backwards and forwards will help you make an adjustment, should you stumble or miss a beat. 

Article in the Santa Maria Sun on the Core Poetry Series

Making My Peace with Time: the Song

Melinda Palacio

Working on a new song, stay tuned for a video. 

Yesterday, I wrote a new song, my second effort. If this were the fifties I might have a complete 45 record with an A side, "Bird Forgiveness," and a B side, "Making My Peace with Time." I wrote the Bird Forgiveness theme song in March. This is the year I start writing songs. Last November, I started getting serious about playing the guitar and Steve bought me a guitar for my birthday, a beautiful Martin guitar no less. I'm still madly in love with both Steve and this fancy guitar of mine. It's no wonder I finished a new song on Día de Los Muertos. So far, both songs that I've written honor the women who have come before me.

A year ago, the idea of writing a song seemed like someone else's dream, not mine. For two years now, Steve has been telling me that I should write songs because I write poetry and I have a strong interest in music and learning how to play the guitar. Little did I know that learning to play the guitar would also come with learning how to sing and how to write my own songs.

What I've learned about song writing is that you don't know if you can do it until you sit and work with lyrics and add verses and music. Song writing is so much like writing a poem or a novel. A song begins with an idea, maybe even one line and you build around the mood or concept or story. My first song, the Bird Forgiveness theme song, was based on my poem, "What the Birds Know," from my latest poetry book, Bird Forgiveness (3: a Taos Press 2018).

Back in March when I wrote the song, I had that terrible feeling that most new writers have, that I might not be able to write another song, that it was some sort of fluke or accident and the magic of it all had been used up. A little voice inside me lacked the confidence that Steve had in me when he declared I should write songs.

It turns out the very act of doing and writing gives you the tools you need to finish the work. The work, whether a song or poem or story, always gets better with revision. The only way to work in melody and rhythm to your song lyrics is by trial and error, at least, that's how it worked for me. Decide on a key, try singing or humming the lyric, try a chord and if it sounds okay, keep it and move onto the next line or the chorus or bridge. The melody and rhythm determine how the song evolves and part of song writing is truly magic. At least, for my untrained ear and self, song writing involves a leap of faith.

My new song, "Making My Peace with Time" is about acknowledging the years that have been rolling by without my mother who died when she was 44. Now that I'm closer to the age she was when she died, I am at a stage in my life of acceptance. For so many years, I was in a mournful and depressed state. Now I celebrate life, the person my mother was and the woman I have become. 

Go vote!

Next stop on the Bird Forgiveness Tour include: The Louisiana Book Festival, November 10 at the Capitol Welcome Center Glass Room at 12: 15 pm in Baton Rouge and the University of New Orleans, November 14 at 8pm.